A Dream Analysis

Sunday, August-15-10

I dreamt of having sex with a boy of about 13-15. It’s strange that I can’t remember now, because in my dream it was clear to me -- his age. I know he was young enough that he didn’t have an open pore or mark on his perfect baby face. He never had used a razor obviously. He believed we were in love. I knew better. The odd thing was, the sex act itself was wonderful. It was tender, and loving and natural. We’d been spending some time individually alone in the Olympic, lit up swimming pool at his abundant home, away from the vulturous eyes of family and friends. Oddly, we began to relate to one another in a loner-kind-of-way and it felt right. Almost immediately after it happened, I realized it was something I wanted to forget ever occurred. Following me around like a lost puppy dog and hoping I’d play video games or plan a date with him I tried to distance myself diplomatically.

Walking down the street, and ignoring the childish attempts at conversation from my unexpected lover, I leave my friends, a couple, to continue walking ahead of me, and enter a building on the left with my admirer in pursuit. I climb the stairs immediately before me, and find they end in an unfinished/locked off area. Feeling devilish, I break in with my young-love and revert back to the hierarchy of pleasantries I was experiencing with the young boy moments before we made love. It was easy, and comfortable, and while it was probably too close (because in reality, this is the sort of close friendship one has with a husband or boyfriend) I enjoyed being around him. We hear a noise, and realize it is the handyman there to repair this elevator shaft or mechanical doorway or whatever this is and silently crept down a few stairs and waited with bated breath and hearts a thumping. Then, my friends noisily enter the building and tell us to get a move on. We don’t waste time wondering about the old janitor.

Dangerously, when he realized that I had used him and did something I shouldn’t have, hell hath no fury like an adolescent scorned. He went crying to his parents and extended family at this dinner party I was in attendance of that he’d experienced a break up. In disbelief they learned that I was the “little boy crush” and in fact, it had gone beyond infatuation, and leapt into the realm of adult physical love. The other grown ups were trying to therapeutically explain to him that I was the adult. That what I did was wrong, that he did nothing wrong and was not accountable for his feelings. I knew this was true. I felt awful. I was confronted, judged and threatened by each and every one of them all at once. I could feel their hatred and disgust with my perverse self. I knew that I was realistically trying to deny to myself what I was, but the label was an aberration in itself to me. Pedophile. I was one of those people I despised the most. I wanted to believe that I had made a simple mistake that I could just fib my way out of. When in doubt, deny. They weren’t buying it and it was becoming a lynching. In the dark and wet street I could see the face of my object of love. It was seething, revenge driven, and brokenhearted. I felt pain for hurting him, stealing his innocence, and a loss of (selfishly) his love and affection. I awoke feeling bitter and unsettled.

************Translation with thanks ***********************

Pedophile
To dream that you are a pedophile signifies a transitional phase in your life. You want to explore and experiment. This dream may leave you extremely disturbed, ashamed or embarrassed, but it does not necessarily mean that you have pedophilic tendencies. Perhaps you are feeling ambiguous or insecure about your own sexuality.

Swimming Pool
To see a swimming pool in your dream, symbolizes relaxation, calmness, luxury and ease. You need to take a break. Alternatively, a swimming pool suggests that you need to acknowledge and understand your feelings. It is time to dive in and deal with those emotions. You need to cleanse yourself and wash away those past hurts.

Party
To dream that you are at a party, suggests that you need to get out more and enjoy yourself. If the party is a bad one, then it indicates that you are unsure of your social skills.

Guilt
To dream that you feel guilty about something, relates to how you are handling your successes and failures or competence and incompetence. You may feel undeserving of your achievements. Or on the other hand, you feel that you have let others down. Alternatively, the dream is symbolic of repressed and negative feelings that you may have about yourself.

Street
To see a street in your dream, symbolizes your life's path. The condition of the street reflects how much control you have over the direction of your life. Consider also the name on the street as it may offer some significance or advice to the meaning of the dream. To see or travel on side streets in your dream, refer to a need to explore an alternative way of life

Pavement
To see or walk on pavement in your dream, suggests that you have a clear understanding and grasp of a situation. You are standing on solid ground. The dream may also indicate that you have paved and laid out a firm path toward your life goals.

Wet
To dream that you are wet indicates that you are overcome with emotions. It also signifies a spiritual cleansing, rebirth or renewal. Alternatively, the dream may imply sexual arousal.
**NOTE: I wasn’t wet, but the street was!

Night
To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

Sex
To dream about sex, refers to the integration and merging of contrasting aspects of yourself. It represents psychological completion. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Consider the nature of the love-making. Was it passionate? Was it slow? Was it wild?

The sex act parallels aspect of yourself that you wish to express. A more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it has been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.

If you dream of having sex in a public place, then the dream implies that others are talking about your private relationship.

To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually. Perhaps you need to bring the same sense of adventure into your existing relationship.

If you dream that you are having sex with a stranger, then it represents uncertainty about what is ahead. Alternatively, the dream allows you to experiment freely without having any hang ups, emotional baggage or preconceived notions associated with a person you would know. In such a scenario, you are able to let loose and express your desires, passions and emotions.